My Secret Dream Was Shattered But God Fixed My Broken Heart!

Have you ever held something secret about yourself which you know if you told your mates they would probably laugh at you. Well that was me! The secret itself isn't laughable but the person who held on to it was... You wouldn't expected me have one like this!!

My life wasn't that different from the many lives we see around us...Partying, drinking as much I could on the weekends, smoking, sleeping around and stealing, copying my friends. All I cared about was myself and what I could get. My life wasn't glamorous but when you're a dancer travelling to various places its hard not to think you're something you're not.

Although I knew about God and Jesus, the world around me seemed far more appealing. So being always up for an adventure, I thought I could live my life the way I wanted and that there would be no come backs. Despite holding onto a secret that would soon prove God was looking out for me all the time.

On one of my usual drunken nights out with friends I met this guy, he seemed interested in me, so I thought I would play my usual game. Flirt with him and see if I could lure him into my web, once in, drop him. Little did I know that meeting this guy would be the first step into changing my life forever.

We dated for a while, not long enough unfortunately, before I was unable to fulfil the secret I had been carrying around with me. You see my secret was that I always wanted to be married before having any children. You know do it 'the old fashioned way'. Now that I was pregnant I wouldn't be able to fulfil that hearts desire. Who would have believed that was my true hearts desire, with that sort of lifestyle?

If only I had started to live my life in a way that would have fulfilled that secret sooner. Although my hearts desire, my secret was shattered, I knew of someone who could mend my broken heart. One day as I laid in my lounge I prayed to God to help me, I told him how dirty I felt and that I had no-one else to turn too. That day my life changed.

I no longer felt dirty and empty. I actually felt complete, whole, something I'd never felt before and it was all because I had asked Jesus into my life and I wanted to live my life the way God intended. Slowly my life started to be pieced back together, the man I met (the father of my child) became a Christian. All those years I had been searching for my knight in shining armour and after becoming a Christian God gave him to me.

To this day I have never looked back. I'm free to be myself. I no longer need to feel guilty when I mess up because when Jesus died on that cross for me, He forgave me for all the mistakes I did in the past and the ones I do now and those in future. I know, he knows what's best for me so now I don't need to worry about my future, my career and my family. I could never go back to my old life as this new one is just too good, actually its great!!

Kerri xx